Bullseye Mandala (The Agony of Hesitation)
from the Mandala Series
oil on linen
60 x 60 inches
In my Mandala Series, the mandalas with perfect concentric circles are an attempt to find an ideal infinite pattern: (the radiuses of the concentric circles are divided by phi [golden ratio] to the 1st, 2nd, 3rd powers etc. until they disappear into the center). With The Agony of Hesitation (Bullseye Mandala) I wanted to find beauty and depth with the circles intentionally askew. The painting also relates to Richard Rohr’s concept of the Wisdom Pattern: Order Disorder Reorder” depicting disorder and reorder in one image. The second title, “The Agony of Hesitation” references the conversion of St. Augustine in the garden of Milan in his book, The Confessions. Augustine’s narrative is a repeated theme in my consciousness because of his terrible struggles within himself and his extraordinary coming of age.